My sin is ever before me…

“Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭51:1-4‬ ‭KJV

Self-examination is a good thing.

Yeah, I’m in prayer. My sin is ever before me…

Yesterday, I came extremely close to losing my temper. A person I already had negative predisposed thoughts about REALLY showed themselves and as I say “plucked my last nerve!” Yes, I was two seconds away from using language Daphne does not normally use. Thank God for the ability to walk away.

In hindsight I know I need to check myself and my motivation. How did I allow this person to take me there? It is my own sin and weakness that triggers it.

Judgement is a sin. Although to me the person is annoying- they are still a creation of God. Yes, in their selfish demands, rudeness and lack of sensitivity- they are a person who is flawed – just as I am.

When about to lose it I must pray that the Fruit of the Spirit – temperance, moderation in action or thought, needs to reign. Due to their actions I should not allow my reactions to waver toward anger. I should give permission for The Holy Spirit who dwells within me to take over and balance my inner man.

Lord forgive me for not yielding completely to you.

The predisposed thoughts about the person do not help either. Through discernment God may give us head’s up on a person, just like Jesus knew about Judas. We still may have to deal with annoying/troubling people being in our presence. They may be family, people we work for or with within our lives. Regardless, we must be aware and recognize that ultimately the person is around for a reason. There is a plan. God knows and we should trust it.

Lord forgive my lack of faith in your plans and my actions due to my worry.

Why should we repent and ask for forgiveness?

As Psalm 51 explains, we’ve ultimately sinned against God. It is beyond that person. We have possibly spoiled our witness of Him in our lives.

Self -examination is a good practice so we can improve and also grow to be a greater influence and example. It doesn’t tear us down to hold the mirror in front of us, because we know the potential that lies within us.