In over my head- working in my own strength

I know this might sound strange but – God worked a month of worrying out in my dream last night.

Ok, picture this – I was in a college course. Not sure what the name of the class was, but the subject matter was WAY OVER MY HEAD intellectually. The math looked like a different language and the professor was unrelenting and strict. Of course Daphne, true to form, thought she could overcome it and was ready to battle it all and fight through the course. In the class I was embarrassed when I attempted to present in front of everyone with my fellow group of students. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. The PowerPoint went haywire and I couldn’t get words out of my mouth right.

I became very frustrated and irritated in my dream with myself and the professor till I recognized – I WAS IN WAY OVER MY HEAD! (Can you believe I even said that I felt like hurting the professor?? Which in my dream, some of my classmates immediately went to tell her…)

I then went to the professor and said – “Look, I don’t even need your class to graduate. I’ve passed all the courses in my major. Your class is an elective. This is the first day of class in this course and I can bow out. I can withdraw.”

IMMEDIATELY my tension and anxiousness eased. My stress level lowered. (Yes, I’ve been highly stressed this month.) My professor looked at me, smiled, and said I’m glad you accepted that you could not handle the subject matter. She hugged me and said, “That’s one less student in this huge class. Go! Be successful in what you’re meant to do.”

I think this was God’s way of telling me I haven’t been successful or effective lately because I’ve been walking out of my own prescribed lane. I was in over my head attempting to solve complex problems on a level beyond me. A level that is for God to handle. You see, I instinctively want or think I can fix everything! While doing this I’ve made myself completely frustrated.

We often say, “I can do ALL things…” but forget to also add and truly act on the “through Christ that strengthens me.” We try to accomplish things on our own.

“Seek the LORD and His strength, seek His face continually.” 1 Chronicles 16:11

Now that I review what’s been happening- I have been working/walking in my own strength. The issues that keep me up at night are not issues that I can overcome on my own. They are not problems that are within my prescribed sphere of influence or know-how. Hence, the frustration and stress I feel. I need support. I need to concede. I need God who knows everything to intercede and strengthen me.

After careful consideration and my dream, I’ve pondered that perhaps I’ve attempted tasks in my own strength. I think I’ve been taking on EVERYTHING – not just those things God has assigned to me. I have taken on His work.

I heard the message and am now prayerfully adjusting. I’m learning to say no and admit I don’t have all the answers or can do all the “right” actions. I am now increasing my prayer life to give those complex issues to the one who is able to control and handle them much better than I can. It’s an ongoing process for me. I keep wanting to be “the fixer” when I don’t have the strength. I need to keep seeking The Fixer and allow Him to do His job only stepping in when He instructs me.

Be assured He will let us know through our frustration or unsettling when we’re over our heads and correct us. In yielding our complicated lives to God through seeking Him, He is able to strengthen and guide us to get through. Those subjects “over our heads” then become bearable.

Pray along with me for forgiveness for stepping out of bounds, along with the wisdom to not only know, but recognize our own capability/capacity and reality of God’s.