“…being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”
Philippians 1:6 KJV
I’ve been meditating on this scripture lately. Ok God, I hear you. I need to be confident. I need to have enough faith and trust to believe as Paul said to the church of Phillipi – what God has started He will continue to do through me.
The questions I need to answer – perhaps you need to answer too.
What has God started in your life? In what “good work” have you been successful? Why aren’t you growing/walking in everything now that you could be? I’m trying to examine myself…
I need to write this out to sort it out. Believe me, I say this as humbly as I possibly can giving God all the glory back – He’s gifted me in many ways. So many ways I’m not sure what to do at times. I laugh when I honestly tell people that I’m a “jack of all trades but a master at none.” I have the gift of administration. I have the ability to teach. I love to write. I can sing a little. I feel very anxious, but then am able to bring forth a Word in front of an assembly of people every once in a while. I’ve been shocked that people have asked me to speak since that’s the least of what I feel comfortable. I feel the weight and seriousness of it. The uniqueness of the opportunity afforded at times overwhelms me. I am humbled by it all.
Honestly, I’m terrified. I don’t want to let God down. Reality is – I’ve sorta run away from all He wants me to do the last couple of years. Even before the pandemic I had already transitioned to online church. I’ve satisfied my need for fellowship by the people I surrounded myself – my family Bible study with cousins, my prayer group with sorority, and my friends who are believers, and preachers with whom I can have conversations.
Unfortunately, I finally admit openly – I experienced church hurt years back and succumb completely to my feelings. Truthfully, it wasn’t the first time I have experienced it. My personal relationship with God wasn’t affected as much as my relationship with organized religion and the folks who are a part. I didn’t have issue with everyone, but I felt constantly attacked, challenged, and grew extremely tired/frustrated as a youth ministry leader/education department leader. Then over time, life got in the way, I focused energy that I would put into ministry into work and establishing my business. I have been able to “minister” and help folk that way. Walking away from “church” was probably not the right thing to do, but it was what I did and honestly still am doing.
Funny, in 2022 God made room/opportunity for me to know He still has a hand in my life and the good work He started. GLORY!! I still have had believers around me. I have continued to teach. I still write. I’ve witnessed to folk. I preached at my sorority chapter’s 100th anniversary service. A sorority sister asked me to bring forth her husband’s eulogy. I don’t see any of it as trivial in my journey. I guess it should help me be even more confident and aware of what my personal tasks are.
Entering into 2023 I prayerfully need to be more confident in those things God has started. Confident in the fact that what God places in my path to do will get done. I need to be more confident when He speaks and guides. Please pray for me. I know there is more for me to do. I’m not sure what exactly, but I pray I am obedient.
Conversely, what God has begun in YOU, He will continue to perform it. Hopefully and prayerfully this writing encourages you in some way to be even more confident that what He has started He will continue.
lifeandgodliness 